Violet Eden
The main question to ask yourself when there is a possible RFPNYAN is "How fake does it sound?" And this name is indeed super duper fake sounding. Eden is not a common first or last name (Barbara Eden was born Barbara Moorehead) and even Eden Wood- child beauty pageant dynamo and professional Cutie Patootie- was clearly named specifically so she could excel in her (mom's) chosen field. Also it is worth noting that her middle name is Alexxa which would also make an excellent RFPNYAN.
According to an Amazon reviewer this is "Hands down the hottest angel book EVER! " Now, i'm pretty ignorant about the angel genre so I'm not sure if this is in fact the hottest but apparently one of the male love interests (there are always 2) named Phoenix is "mysterious, cocky, powerful, arrogant, passionate, H-O-T." This may be the first time I've been aroused writing one of these posts!
RFPNYAN Grade B+
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Enchanted
Sunday Woodcutter
Oooh I love this one. Days of the week immediatly telegraph "quirky heroine!" and Woodcutter...I mean, I enjoy the Woodcutter card in Dominion because it gives you much-needed extra Buys. But, while it's an excellent addition to a solid Dominion deck, it is a really silly last name and perfect for RFPNYAN. Also, just to sweeten the deal, Sunday has six siblings and guess the fuck what? They are each named after a day of the week. Ain't that some twee shit?
This is your classic girl meets talking frog, girl kisses frog, frog becomes a prince...Rumbold, the crown prince of Arilland, to be exact. There are also "twisted secrets" in their pasts although I find Sunday's interspecies desire to make it with a frog twisted enough.
RFPNYAN Grade: A
Alethea Kontis
Abandon Book 2: Underworld
Pierce Oliviera
Pierce? Excellent first name, just batshit crazy name for a girl. Oliviera? The author (Meg Cabot in this case, who I had forgottn existed) was really shooting for a prime RFPNYAN score with that. Of course, there are likely lots of Italian people with that last name but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she just thought it sounded appropriatly overwrought, which is the essence of a RFPNYAN. It's like she thought Olivia? Not enough. Olivera? Not enough! OLIVIERA? NAILED IT! I have this terrible feeling that these kind of naming conventions are going to carry over into teen moms naming their children. I don't even like to consider the uptick in Bellas that is already probably taking place.
I guess this book is part of a series since there is a number in the title but it would be cooler if it was just being used Prince-style a la Nothing Compares 2 U. Trilogies seem to be the norm these days, although I question if any of these authors actually have enough to say to justify all these volumes. But U know they got 2 make their paper, Y U MAD?
Pierce (who I will henceforth picture as Chevy Chase from Community) wants to "escape from the realm of the dead" but apparently this "is impossible when someone there wants you back."
This quote tell me all I need 2 know: "Sure, I'd been kicked out of school. I couldn't seem to go more than an hour without craving a caffeinated beverage. And a guy I'd met while I was dead had popped by unexpectedly and caused me to be slapped with a seven-figure civil suit."
Sure.
RFPNYAN Grade: A-
Pierce? Excellent first name, just batshit crazy name for a girl. Oliviera? The author (Meg Cabot in this case, who I had forgottn existed) was really shooting for a prime RFPNYAN score with that. Of course, there are likely lots of Italian people with that last name but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she just thought it sounded appropriatly overwrought, which is the essence of a RFPNYAN. It's like she thought Olivia? Not enough. Olivera? Not enough! OLIVIERA? NAILED IT! I have this terrible feeling that these kind of naming conventions are going to carry over into teen moms naming their children. I don't even like to consider the uptick in Bellas that is already probably taking place.
I guess this book is part of a series since there is a number in the title but it would be cooler if it was just being used Prince-style a la Nothing Compares 2 U. Trilogies seem to be the norm these days, although I question if any of these authors actually have enough to say to justify all these volumes. But U know they got 2 make their paper, Y U MAD?
Pierce (who I will henceforth picture as Chevy Chase from Community) wants to "escape from the realm of the dead" but apparently this "is impossible when someone there wants you back."
This quote tell me all I need 2 know: "Sure, I'd been kicked out of school. I couldn't seem to go more than an hour without craving a caffeinated beverage. And a guy I'd met while I was dead had popped by unexpectedly and caused me to be slapped with a seven-figure civil suit."
Sure.
RFPNYAN Grade: A-
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Dreamless
Helen Hamilton
While pretty standard names, alliteration is always a winner here at RFPNYAN! Ol' Double H is "the only Scion who can descend into the Underworld" which seems intersting to me, I've never seen a YA novel where the protagonist is a Toytoa Scion. I could take or leave the underworld element, been there done that (i.e. Everneath)
RFPNYAN Grade: C+
While pretty standard names, alliteration is always a winner here at RFPNYAN! Ol' Double H is "the only Scion who can descend into the Underworld" which seems intersting to me, I've never seen a YA novel where the protagonist is a Toytoa Scion. I could take or leave the underworld element, been there done that (i.e. Everneath)
RFPNYAN Grade: C+
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Everneath
Nikki Beckett
Seems like it could have been better (the last name is weak) but Nikki is an always welcome absurd nickname! Also, Everneath sounds like a parody of a ridiculous YA novel title so bravo there. And, while I believe it's probably mean to pick on some one's given name, this HAS to be a pen name...Brodi Ashton. Yeck, that just make me want to barf and smile at the same time it's so cliche and bad, I wish it was the protagonist's name! The reviews make it sound not truly horrendous- a pleasant retelling of the Persephone myth which could maybe not be The Worst but I question how deeply it actually "explores the nature of loss and longing and what it means to be alive" but of course I'll never know because I cannot read this shit.
The author has a Masters in International Relations which is interesting but she also lives in Utah...not to make dramatic unfounded claims but what if she is a Mormon like Stephenie Meyer, what if ALL cheesy YA writers are Mormons? I'm calling it right now, total conspiracy!
RFPNYAN Grade: D
Author's Name: B+
My theory that YA authors are conspiring to convert our nation's youth to Mormonism in an elaborate scheme to ultimately control the U.S. by electing Mitt Romney and all of his sons to the presidency forever: A-
Seems like it could have been better (the last name is weak) but Nikki is an always welcome absurd nickname! Also, Everneath sounds like a parody of a ridiculous YA novel title so bravo there. And, while I believe it's probably mean to pick on some one's given name, this HAS to be a pen name...Brodi Ashton. Yeck, that just make me want to barf and smile at the same time it's so cliche and bad, I wish it was the protagonist's name! The reviews make it sound not truly horrendous- a pleasant retelling of the Persephone myth which could maybe not be The Worst but I question how deeply it actually "explores the nature of loss and longing and what it means to be alive" but of course I'll never know because I cannot read this shit.
The author has a Masters in International Relations which is interesting but she also lives in Utah...not to make dramatic unfounded claims but what if she is a Mormon like Stephenie Meyer, what if ALL cheesy YA writers are Mormons? I'm calling it right now, total conspiracy!
RFPNYAN Grade: D
Author's Name: B+
My theory that YA authors are conspiring to convert our nation's youth to Mormonism in an elaborate scheme to ultimately control the U.S. by electing Mitt Romney and all of his sons to the presidency forever: A-
My Blood Approves
Alice Bonham
Sadly, this name is totally boring and normal and there's nothing to say about it but the title of the book! I'm going to start another blog about ridiculous book titles and this will be the first and last entry. Our girl Alice meets a guy who is into "pink Chuck Taylors and New Wave hits" but is also a vampire, natch. And so is his brother! And they both want to fang bang her and she is "caught between love and her own blood." My blood does not approve.
RFPNYAN Grade: F
Truly Ridiculous Book Title Grade: A++!
Sadly, this name is totally boring and normal and there's nothing to say about it but the title of the book! I'm going to start another blog about ridiculous book titles and this will be the first and last entry. Our girl Alice meets a guy who is into "pink Chuck Taylors and New Wave hits" but is also a vampire, natch. And so is his brother! And they both want to fang bang her and she is "caught between love and her own blood." My blood does not approve.
RFPNYAN Grade: F
Truly Ridiculous Book Title Grade: A++!
The Unquiet
Rinn Jacobs
This one has a somewhat intangible quality, it seems to be greater than the sum of it's parts. The last name isn't ridiculous at all and "Rinn" might be a legitimate shortening of Corinne but still it just drips "YA protagonist." Rinn seems to be immune to the ghost of Annaliese (a much worse name, nontraditional spelling like whoa) who is haunting her house and there is also a "hunky farmer boy" involved.
RFPNYAN Grade: C+
This one has a somewhat intangible quality, it seems to be greater than the sum of it's parts. The last name isn't ridiculous at all and "Rinn" might be a legitimate shortening of Corinne but still it just drips "YA protagonist." Rinn seems to be immune to the ghost of Annaliese (a much worse name, nontraditional spelling like whoa) who is haunting her house and there is also a "hunky farmer boy" involved.
RFPNYAN Grade: C+
Crewel
Adelice Lewys
Where do I begin, I actually guffawed aloud alone in my office when I read this one. Adelice: I'm pretty sure this is a totally made up and/or purposely old fashioned, another RFPNYAN standby. We also are treated to the inclusion of a non-traditionally spelled last name. I'm sure some people spell Lewis this way but....maybe not.
She is apparently "Incapable. Awkward. Artless." which I find highly believable. She is a "spinster" who "weaves time" whatever the holy fuck that means.
RFPNYAN Grade- B+
Where do I begin, I actually guffawed aloud alone in my office when I read this one. Adelice: I'm pretty sure this is a totally made up and/or purposely old fashioned, another RFPNYAN standby. We also are treated to the inclusion of a non-traditionally spelled last name. I'm sure some people spell Lewis this way but....maybe not.
She is apparently "Incapable. Awkward. Artless." which I find highly believable. She is a "spinster" who "weaves time" whatever the holy fuck that means.
RFPNYAN Grade- B+
Before I Wake
Kaylee Cavanaugh
Alliteration AND an overly trendy, goofily spelled first name- RFPNYAN hallmarks! Let's see...apparently she's "covering up her own murder" and has a new reaper boyfriend. Of course she does.
RFPNYAN Grade: B-
Alliteration AND an overly trendy, goofily spelled first name- RFPNYAN hallmarks! Let's see...apparently she's "covering up her own murder" and has a new reaper boyfriend. Of course she does.
RFPNYAN Grade: B-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)